Mastering the Guest List

It’s a big deal.

Do you want a small, intimate affair, or a party with 300 of your closest friends and relatives? Will you be including plus ones for your guests or including children at your wedding? Are you going to elope and throw a party when you get home?

Setting your guest list can help narrow down your venue options, determine how you plan to use your catering budget, and so much more. That’s why it is important to identify at least a ballpark number of people you expect to invite as you start wedding planning!

Proactively anticipate that your guests will need clear direction to understand who is invited to your event. For example:

• Address the invitation to the specific names of each individual invited

• Include a note on the RSVP which indicates, “We have reserved X seats in your honor”

Okay, Amy, that makes sense. But what do I say when my guests try to take matters into their own hands?

If guests respond with additional names or contact you to ask if they can bring plus ones you had not accounted for, let them down kindly. For instance, if your college roommate wants to bring a new partner she has been dating for three weeks and you don’t have room to accommodate her request, consider a response similar to:

“We would love for X to come but unfortunately are at capacity with our guest list. As a result, we hope you understand that we can’t include additional guests.”

When your neighbor reaches out to ask when they can expect to receive their invitation but you’ve opted to have a smaller collection of loved ones by your side, tell them:

“We had a maximum number on our guest list and had to prioritize family first. We would love to celebrate with you over drinks at home the week after.”

In these instances, it’s up to you to decide if you want to make any exceptions or if you’d prefer to hold tight to your original list. By being open and respectful, it’s easier to have tricky conversations and to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.